


starting all over again

by Fierysky



Series: Fitzsimmons [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Light Angst, Power Dynamics, Season/Series 03, Sexual Content, angry fitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 15:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fierysky/pseuds/Fierysky
Summary: Set in Season 3, after Jemma returns from Maveth. Fitz throws down the gauntlet to Jemma about their relationship.





	starting all over again

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by @sunalso!
> 
> I had initially written this for a birthday present for Gort (hi Gort!) however decided birthday things should reference canon as little as possible when it comes to Jemma and Fitz :)

“Are you actually mad at _me_?” Fitz’s voice rose, his accent thick. They were in SHIELD’s lab, and Jemma had made a snarky comment about him not speaking.  His gaze raked over her body in the standard lab clothes and clenched his jaw.

That bastard Will already tasted what was beneath.

“I’m mad at myself,” Jemma returned, interrupting his thoughts. “And yes. At _you._  For being so willing to help.”

Fitz’s jaw dropped at the sheer audacity of Simmons to stomp on his friendship then fling it in his face.

“You’re mad at me willing to help?” he asked, incredulously, advancing on her. “What d’you expect?” He’d been following her around for years, followed her to SHIELD, dove through a hole in the bloody universe for her.

“I don’t know,” Jemma’s threw up her hands. “Yell! Get angry! Stop being so damned nice!”

Fitz’s heart rate increased, and his cheeks burned. Did she even know how her words wounded him? Fitz’s default memory of his father was him in a drunken rage and it pained him that one day he might be the same, exploding and hurting those he loved.

“If I get angry,” Fitz’s voice was deceptively calm, though his thickening accent revealed his emotions. “You’d be over my knee while I spanked your bottom for fucking another man.”

 _“What?_ ” Jemma’s sharp intake of breath would’ve had him apologizing any other time, but not now, not when she dared berate him. He’d follow her to the ends of the earth and help her lover return because he loved _her_ and she fucking knew it. 

“Do you love him?” Fitz asked, hating the quaver in his voice, but he needed to know. 

“I- I don’t know,” Jemma wiped her eyes, still dazed by his crude outburst. “Um-yes.”

And with that one word, that confirmation she was in love with Will, Fitz’s heart froze, then shattered. Not with an explosion, but with icy cracks at her wringing hands, and guilty eyes, and her heaving chest. He exhaled, as tears rolled down his face, as his soul mourned.  Jemma was alive, and that was a miracle, but her heart beat for another.

“Fitz?” Jemma blinked slowly, sensing a change in him. “Are you alright?”

He couldn’t help it, he smiled. 

“You know, Simmons,” Fitz said, conversationally, crossing the space between them. “The lab used to be my sanctuary when you were gone. Both times.”

“I’m sorry-”

“I didn’t let them move anything out that was yours, ” Fitz took her hands, they were freezing, as usual. “Or touch anything of yours.” He tightened his grip. “But you let someone else take what’s mine?”

“What’s _yours_ ?” Jemma’s breathing hitched. “Are you _insane_?”

“I can ask you the same thing,” Fitz pulled her closer, his gaze drifting to her lips. “Come to my bunk tonight. Not a minute after 8:45 pm.”

“I don’t think-”

“Have a list of ready of what you don’t want.”

“Fitz!” Jemma pushed him lightly. “We can’t do this.”

“Course you can,” he sneered. “He’s not here, and I am. Isn’t that all you need to fuck someone?”

And with that barb, Fitz pulled away, and strode to the door, walking faster as Jemma called his name and tears rolled down his face.

* * *

 

Jemma stared at the closed door. Her breasts were achy, and her clit hummed. Fitz threatening to spank her sparked a dark desire that only he could sate.

She didn’t want to think or feel or even be.

Her friendship with Fitz was more important to her than anything, even Will, how could Fitz not understand that?

She bit her lip, as she remembered Fitz’s instructions. He knew her so well, the time was perfect for her, she’d be finished with her nighttime routine by 8.30 pm, and hopefully, they’d be finished before her 10 pm bedtime. Lists kept her grounded, and she trusted him to adhere to them.

Maybe she could let him take control of this one thing?

Her eyes narrowed as she reached over for her notepad and pen.

“Okay, what would I _not_ want Fitz to do to me?”

* * *

 

She rapped at his door at exactly 8.45pm. She had her list, crisply folded once, twice, then a third time because the contents scared her. She’d showered, shaved and though she wore a very sensible grey t-shirt and sweatpants, underneath, she had on lace panties and a matching demi bra. They weren’t fancy, but they made her feel pretty.

Might as well go all out when indulging in madness.

She had a speech prepared, about boundaries, and friendship, but it all faded when he opened the door.

Fitz was on the other side, his piercing blue eyes trained on her, as he clenched his jaw.

“You shaved?” Jemma asked wonderingly. “For me?” She tentatively reached out and touched his smooth cheek.

“Yeah, I um, know you like it,” Fitz rubbed the back of his neck, and just like that, he became her Fitz again, her best friend in the whole world.

She let herself in, and before he could speak, she embraced him tightly.

“Oh Fitz,” she sighed, when he hugged her back. “What are we doing?”

“We’ll figure it out,” he murmured. “Sorry I yelled at you.”

Jemma snorted, nestling in his arms. “Yelling is what happened for the quantum physics final at the Academy.”

Fitz laughed darkly. “That was the first time I wanted to spank you.”

Jemma stilled, that was _not_ what she thought he'd say.

“You didn’t listen to me,” Fitz continued, his hands sliding to her hips. “ Thought you knew it all. And we got a 95 on that project.” He pulled her closer so she could feel his hardness. “I wanted to spank you five lashes for what we missed.”

Jemma’s lips parted at his thickening cock nudged at her.

“Show me your list,” Fitz inhaled her scent. She must’ve just showered, as the scent of her lavender and chamomile soap drifted towards him.

“After,” Jemma breathed, closing her eyes. “Please. I don’t want to think.”

“Get on your knees then,” Fitz murmured.

“Don’t we need a safeword?” Jemma asked, as she gracefully sank to the floor.

“Just tell me no,” Fitz smiled, his eyes a bright blue in the lamplight. “I’ll stop anything.”

“Are you angry at me?” Jemma’s mouth trembled, as she sat back on her knees. “You want to punish me?”

Fitz’s chest heaved as her words sank in.

“Yes,” he admitted. “I am furious.”

“I’m sorry,” Jemma reached up and grazed his thickening cock through his pajamas. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know. And I don’t mean to hurt you either,” Fitz grasped her hand, needing to take control. “I like you on your knees.”

Jemma grinned saucily. “Do you now, Dr. Fitz. Will this get me a better grade?”

Fitz laughed, at her playful voice, remembering their days at the Academy.

“I actually don’t have a fantasy for this,” he admitted. “You always had better grades than me.”

Emotion surged though Jemma, as her eyes watered. This was the moment she realized how badly she’d hurt Fitz. Here she was on her knees, with a freshly shaved pussy, willing to do what he wanted, but he’d never had a fantasy where she was lesser than him.

She rose, pulling off her t-shirt, as she understood what Fitz needed.

Her bra was a see-through lace, and when Fitz saw her puckered nipples, he gasped.

“My turn,” she announced. “Let’s go on the bed.”

“But I-”

“Now,”  she stepped out of her sweatpants, and when Fitz saw the tiny lace bikini, his eyes widened.

Jemma sauntered to turn off the light, and she smiled when Fitz gasped. She wore a thong bikini and he apparently liked the back as much as the front.

* * *

 

Fitz lost his train of thought as Jemma’s ass swayed in front of him.

“Dammit,” he muttered. He was supposed to be the one in control.

“Have you made a list of your fantasies?” Jemma stretched and sat on the bed.

“Erm,” Fitz's brow creased. “No.” Why didn't he think of that?

She gazed up at him, her eyes warm. “So how do we know where to start?”

Fitz’s shoulder’s slumped, and he gazed at the floor.

“Oh Fitz,” Jemma whispered. “Come here.”

He obeyed, sitting on the bed.

“I love you,” Jemma leaned over and nuzzled his face. “You know that, right?”

“More than _him_?” Fitz hated the petulant tone in his voice.

“More than anyone,” Jemma trailed kisses on his neck. “Anything.

“More than homework?” Fitz smiled, as his eyes fluttered closed.

She scraped her teeth on his skin, when he pounced on her in the bed, they both dissolved in giggles.

“Let’s just sleep tonight,” Fitz murmured as they sank under the covers.

“Naked,” Jemma amended, realizing that Fitz would always put her needs first, and maybe she needed to help push them further.

He blushed, and she found it hard to reconcile him with the man who threatened to spank her earlier.

But then he spoke.

“I always sleep naked,” Fitz pulled off his t-shirt. “You stay in those scraps of lace. I might want to tear them off.”

Jemma shivered as Fitz turned off the light and hugged her, as she nestled on his chest and his hand played in her hair.

She thought Fitz was her best friend, but maybe she didn’t know everything about him. Her last thought as she fell asleep, was that there wasn’t anywhere she’d rather be, than with Fitz.

* * *

 

**_Later that night_ **

 

Jemma was asleep, lightly snoring. She’d pulled off her bra and panties, muttering that they weren’t the best to sleep in, then promptly pulled all the covers on her, because she was cold.

Fitz chuckled as he rose, and he padded to the tiny utility closet to grab another blanket when a folded piece of paper on the foyer table caught his eye.

It was Simmons’ list on what she wouldn’t do.

He unfolded it once, twice, then three times, and squinted at the words, his breath catching in his throat as he made out her handwriting

> _My dear Fitz,_
> 
> _I can’t bear this row. I’ll do whatever you want. Please don’t give up on me._
> 
> _I love you._

  
He exhaled a shuddering breath as desire and love surged within him. Along with disappointment and regret.   


"I love you too, my Jemma," he sighed, folding the paper and placing it on the table. 

And as he made it back to bed, he knew that while spankings were optional, being without Jemma, wasn't.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I went back and forth with the tags and rating, so I hope it worked! Feedback is much welcome. I don't usually write for this ship, so my apologies on any mistakes!


End file.
